What's In A Name
by Gone With The Books
Summary: Reminiscing on her life, Hermione thinks back to every name she has ever been called
1. Daughter

Probably her earliest name she ever took, even before she was born, she was Helen and Richards daughter.

he remembers the warm feeling of being held by them, their joy in all her achievements, from first words, to first steps, to first book she ever read.

She remembers the first time the connection of Daughter was tested.

One afternoon after reading Matilda for the umpteenth time, a young Hermione furrowed her brows, and focused on calling over one of her books from across the room, like Matilda in her book had done. To her, and her mother's surprise, the book sluggishly moved off her small bookshelf and wobbled it's way to her. That was the first show of her magic.

So when many years later, a prim and tartan clad professor came to her parents door, Hermione began to worry for her connection to her parents.

Her parents though, were supportive and steadfast to make sure their daughter could enjoy every opportunity she could.

Through her Hogwarts years, she was still Helen and Richards daughter, but in a way she also became Molly and Arthur's daughter, which helped her transition into the magical world.

'Daughter' was also the first name she lost, as she sent her parents so a safer place, as not her parents, but just another childless couple. Later that night, she mourned the passing of the name, and it's connections.


	2. Hermione

Hermione.

That was the second name ever given to her. After her parents love of Shakespeare and their humorous knowledge of geek mythology.

It was a tricky name for a child to pronounce, and there were different versions over the years, from shortenings, butcherings, and when she was in trouble with her mother; Hermione Jean.

She wore it like armour for most of her life. After all, there weren't many children in the playground called "Hermione". It labeled her as an outsider in her first world, and in her second world it cast her as a new being. On a level all of her own.

She hid it for a time, in one of her most trying years, a year of running, camping and hunting. She hid behind a new name, Penelope Clearwater, a safe name that hid her in plain daylight among darkness.

After the War she used her name as a type of currency. She wasn't proud of it, but she achieved her goals that way. She used her name to prove herself right, and to carve a new path for those behind her who also grew up in another world.

After all Hermione Granger was hers and hers alone, and she had fought for her name.


	3. Mudblood

She first encountered this name is a book. Even in the book the word jumped out at her, and caught her eye. She learned that witches and wizards could class themselves in categories of blood classes.

The first time she was called it struck her like a physical slap would. Not because she found it offensive, she knew that a name is just a word, but because of the weight that others put behind the word. And while she could brush it off, it was the other students who reacted so strongly to it.

She knew that Malfoy had called her that for the other students reactions, and her lack of true offensive cemented the fact Malfoy knew; that she was new to this world, not raised in it and naive to its social rules. An Interloper.

She is called it so often over the next few years, that the name changes meaning.

From students she sees it as a childish taunt, effective a few times but ineffective through over-use. She came to see that they were all children playing adult roles.

From Death Eaters she sees it as proof she is a threat to their way of life. That the more they called her Mudblood, the more they felt threatened by her, which only strengthened her resolve.

When it was carved into her arm, the word became tactile, she could see the mental hurt in physical form. She tried to heal it, but leaned it would always remain raw, an effect of the cursed knife Bellatrix used on her. She always felt conflicted about it when she concealed it, was she hiding it from herself, or others? She felt it taunted her and her family when on show, as if years on after the final battle, she was still freshly scarred. In time she learned to see it as a mark of her survival and strength.

They did not grind her down and never would.


	4. Lover

It was tentative title at first, and it made her blush to think of it. The idea of Lover meant experience and confidence to her, which she didn't feel applied to her for a while.

She first felt she deserved the title after a lazy Sunday afternoon with her own Lover, feeling the sun on her naked back as the two of them shared each other for the entire day. It was a day all on its own, no date or time, just a perfect slice of paradise for the two of them uninterrupted and unembarrassed by anything they did. It was also the day she gained a new title for her collection.

Fiancé.


	5. Wife

The title wife was an odd one for Hermione. She had so many different ideas for the term; was she to be the doting home keeper, the strong independent battler, the meek partner, or was she to be completely different?

The answer came two months into gaining the title, the two were at a staff function. Looking around all the other couples, she could see the tropes she tried to internalise herself to, when she broke out of her internal thoughts by her husband introducing her.

"This is Hermione Granger; my Wife"

And just like that she stared at her husband in realisation. He had shown in such a simple way that this title was simply another addition to her titles, not a all-encompassing one. She wasn't going to let "Wife" define her. She wouldn't let any one title define her, she was going to define the title. If she was to be a Wife, she'd go about it on her terms.

She smiles congenially at the couple across from her and her husband as she listens to their conversation.


	6. Mother

She applies this title to herself when she first took the home test, as some muggle traditions hold fast. And at the Healers office later that day she feels the title take a stronger hold of her.

She felt it settle over her at the first fluttering kick or the babe in her belly, a bizarre feeling of something within you, that knows you already.

She felt the title wrap around her, and when she first held her squalling baby girl in the hospital, red and sweaty for exertion. She felt the connection take hold as similar, truely dormant, connection of Daughter from long ago flared again. It was an comforting feeling to know that in the great wide world, no matter what time may pass, she would always be her daughters Mother. In that same moment she knew that she herself was still a Daughter, and felt the pain in her chest from her decisions during the war heal a bit more.

Over the years the name Mother meant a great deal to her, she was a protecter, a teacher, a judge and jury, and a place of safety.

Some days more than others she felt like Mother was her only title, and other days, later on in her children's lives, she barley felt the weight of the title, she wasn't a great fan of those days, as she cherished the title and strived to earn it with all her might.

In the years to come she also gained the title Grandmother, an odd title she never thought to picture herself in, but fitted none the less.


	7. Widow

Widow.

That title hurt. While she was not called it as often as her one titles like 'Hermione", "Mum", "Granny" or "Madam Minister" it still stung to be called it and reminded of the fact that she was without the man she had spent her happiest moments with.

They called her Widow in the papers, as they remarked how she rarely was seen in public and how her programs and committees had suffered in her absence.

Merlin, she thought. Did they have any clue what it was like to lose the one person she had been with for over 80 years?! That _their_ house felt too big for her now, so she had taken to staying in the smaller guest house they had built on the property. That she felt like she was only waiting for time to pass and to catch up to her.

After months of self-neglect, she decided on a better course of action. So on a unremarkable overcast scottish day, she began the long walk up the path towards Hogwarts, where she would gain a new title. One that in retrospect was the easiest choice.

Professor.


	8. Legend

One of the last titles she gained, post humorously was Legend.

It was many years after the War, when most of the facts were muddles and some conveniently left out, and all that was left was the glorious story of a muggleborn girl turned heroine who conquered the evils around her using her famous mind. Though Hermione would always chuckle at the irony that they would always remind her of her heritage at the same time as saying she overcame any blood prejudice.

In truth, she was a great many things. She earned many names through her life, both complementary and not, some she proudly carried and other she let fall to the wayside.

Though one of her idols would famously ask "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other would smell as sweet" she knew a name could give one great power, depending on how you used it.

And that it why, at the end of her time, she knew exactly how she would hoped to be remembered as;

Hermione Granger.


End file.
